The first brave contribution to our guest-writer series.
By Brigitte Bedard
Turning thirty can be a scary thing for many people because it’s truly the age where you become an adult. Most of us have been living on our own and are in the beginning stages of our careers. We’re not quite college poor anymore, but we are certainly not filet-mignon rich either.
I’m now in my late thirties; 37 years old to be exact, and I can tell you that it is a wonderful time but, trust me, it took a lot of work to get to this happy place.
I remember back when my ‘Dirty 30’ birthday was just around the corner. I was so excited. I was convinced that everything was going to change in the blink of an eye and all of a sudden I was going to be thrusted into a new and better life full of money, no stress and basically hit the trifecta of life in all imaginable ways. I had struggled in my twenties but that was going to all be behind me. My real life was about to begin…
OH MAN, did my new life ever begin! Only it was not what I expected at all. It was like a big s%#@ storm of reality that hit me directly in the face!
Within that first year I was completely overwhelmed and everything I thought it would be, had vanished and was replaced by disappointment, more confusion and a struggle to figure out just what had happened.
I was a single mom with a ton of bills who was completely and emotionally a mess. I was supper stressed out and so unhappy. I was working as an account manager in an online advertising publishing company and I was completely miserable. I hated my job, I hated that I was not making enough money at my job, I hated that my expectation for recognition was definitely not being met.
I was in a terrible place. Negativity was all around me, and then it all came to head when I ended up going through a severe depression. My biggest problem was that I couldn’t figure out how I had gotten to such a place in my life.
I knew I didn’t want to stay in that dark place, but I seriously has no clue how I was going to dig myself out.
I found myself doing nothing but complaining and ranting to my family and friends when we would speak. The worse part was I ranting and raving about how much a hated going through all this but I was not taking or actively listening to any of the advice that was being given to me. I was finding excuses to stay in my misery. This went on for years, until one morning I woke up and had a simple thought.
“It’s time for a change!”
All I could think was how unpleasant it must be for my friends and family to never hear anything good or positive come out of any conversation we were having. How was I always described as a happy-go-lucky person? I was really wondering, “Where did that chick go?”
I was now about 34 and completely exhausted from all the energy I spent being angry and not staying true to what I wanted or believed. But I decided that every day I would work to think something positive, just one thing – no matter how small.
And slowly, my mood, depression and anxiety started to disappear.
The next thing I noticed was that I was able to look within myself and be more vocal about the things I really wanted. I had been a single mom since the age of 21 and now I wanted a good, supporting man in my life. I wanted to find my purpose, I wanted to be fulfilled in my career, I wanted to be happy. But most of all, I wanted to live abundantly in every way possible.
It felt great, and what started to happen was I found my self-worth. HONESTLY… once I found that, my whole life started changing just as I had been envisioning.
I met my partner, Brian, and two years later we are living together and happy. We’re not rich, but we’re financially comfortable. He’s a wonderful man who is super supportive and a fantastic role model for my daughter, who although is 18 yrs old and gone off to college, looks to him as a father figure that she can trust and she knows truly cares for both of us.
I’m working for a company that values me and recognizes all the attributes I bring to my senior account management role. I also started my own small business on the side, where I am helping people achieve their health and wellness goals. And, I can also add to the list that I am an author, currently working on writing my first book.
But most of all, I am whole, I am at peace, I am comfortable with who I am! I’m 37 and I’m truly in the best years of my thirties. It all eventually comes together and what I have learned in the last 7 years is that your thirties are your character-building and acceptance years. You must go through the many storms to find out exactly who you are and what you truly want out of your life!
Stay the course and don’t despair. Your peace and sunshine is on its way. PROMISE!
Sincerely loving my thirties!!!
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