For Anyone Who Has Told a Kid to “Earmuff it!”.

I was at an amazing event this week – a roomful of female entrepreneurs who are all committed to positive change while creating multi-million dollar companies.

The speeches were fun, thoughtful and really personal – authenticity at its best.  And the most authentic part was the language.  More than a few of the women forgot themselves (as in, forgot about the little ones in the room) and let the F-bombs fly freely.

As the night went on, we just rolled with it and started shouting, “Earmuff it!”, a helpful catchphrase from the movie, Old School, that tells kids when to cover their ears against bad language.  It ended up being such a laugh and a fun solution.

Afterwards, I couldn’t get the “Earmuff it” phrase out of my head and it actually led to a really big AHA moment.

When we’re kids, there are a lot of terrible things for us to hear from adults.  The funny thing is, we never talk about how this doesn’t ever really go away – the content just changes.  In other words, there are still a lot of things we as adults need protection from. 

Maybe there are people in our lives who consistently put us down, or maybe we have a bad day and we just can’t get someone’s nasty words out of our head.

Not to mention how we all can be our own worst enemy at times with the negative self-talk and low self-esteem shamefests that happen behind a happy face.

Oh, how I wish there were a pair of in-brain earmuffs I could wear to block out the mental chatter of my fear, self-doubt and guilt sometimes! 

This crazy idea inspired me to start using the phrase, “Earmuff it,” for a whole new reason.  Just as the adults in Old School tell the kids to, “Earmuff it,” against bad language, we can do the same for put downs and negative self-talk, which is just the equivalent of damaging bad language for adults, don’t you think?

So next time you lack self-confidence or feel down about yourself, Earmuff it!

You’re not good enough.

Earmuff it!

You probably don’t have what it takes.

Earmuff it!

No one will ever take you seriously.

Earmuff it!

You’re kidding yourself.

Earmuff it!

You’re going to embarrass yourself.

Earmuff it!

You get the idea.

Eventually, it gets easier to ignore the negative stuff coming in and it even makes building stronger mental toughness and positivity into a game. Plus, it makes me smile a little at the cheekiness of it all. 

This is even perfect for anyone who’s not really into the whole mantra, woo-woo brand of spirituality and just needs a quick reminder to get out of the usual funks that we crawl into at times.

But, I think it’s something we could all give a try as we continue to carve out the best possible paths for ourselves.

Give it a try this week and let me know how it goes on the Facebook page.

And if you need more helpful, kick-ass spirituality get in touch for personalized sessions to kickstart your dreams (especially if you’re looking to create your own multi-million dollar company that gives back) and get you on your true path to success.

ashewoodward.com

Photo Credit: http://www.aliexpress.com

One Word for 2016

As the ‘Happy New Year’ salutations still ring out, so do the sounds of my pinging inbox with promises of a new me for 2016. 

As a coach, I’m totally guilty of giving the same spiel to my clients: “This is a clean slate, a new beginning, no time like the present” and all that.  But secretly I feel it’s all a little tiring and a lot of pressure to put on this freshly squeezed year.

Don’t get me wrong, I too feel the magic of January and the feeling of amazing possibilities but I’m really soooo done with resolutions.  Instead, this year, I’m taking a page out of Elizabeth Gilbert’s book (figuratively) and one from Danielle Laporte’s.  Gilbert, as most women remember from the book and movie, Eat, Pray, Love, looks for ‘her word’ (spoiler: it ends up being different in the film from the book).  The belief is that every person and even cities have one, all encompassing word to describe them.  Rome’s word is sex, where New York’s is achieve…(I’m not so sure what Toronto’s would be, maybe create? Any thoughts?)

Danielle Laporte is a Canadian spiritual guru who is famous for saying things like, “It’s not about what you want but how you want to feel”. In her work she often has people write down feelings they want to feel instead of accomplishments to go after. Here’s a great video about how she explains her discovery of this method at the beginning of a new year. WATCH

What I propose is that instead of resolutions that are often lengthy or uninspiring, we choose one word for 2016 and live by it and have it breathe through everything we do this year on the way to being a better version of ourselves. The idea actually came from Kate Northrup in one of ‘those New Year emails” but reminded me so much of Gilbert and Laporte.  And, let me tell you, I will take advice any day from these 3 gurus any day because their work has influenced and helped me so much.  Not to mention that Northrup’s book, Money A Love Story which I read this past October, led me to make an extra $300.00 before I was even finished reading the book. BUY IT NOW!

It has taken a while to discover the word that I want to encompass my 2016 but when I’m really honest about what I want for myself this year it has to be relationships.  The last part of 2015 really showed me that maybe I’m more of a people person than I thought.  Or maybe, I’ve grown up and just turned into one.  I’d really like to grow and care for the relationships that I have in my life and build more throughout the year.  This may sound cheesy or even too easy for some but working on strong connections, authentic sharing and communicating is really where I want to focus my energy and see what will come out of it. Not to say that I have terrible relationships now, but I see how they can be better and how I can be better at my part.

I think a one word resolution is an especially great idea because I can use it like a mantra and I don’t have to refer to a list in my phone to recall it. You can see how this one word can flow into so many areas of life – career, home, family – and will be a great all-encompassing way to live the year for more success in all areas.

So give it a try and SHARE YOUR WORD on the Being Thirties Facebook Page!

Have a wonderful 2016 and I wish you all the success you desire for this year and all of your thirties! 

Find out more about how coaching can boost your success in all your 2016 projects at ashewoodward.com.

Blast Through Blocks With a Simple Shift

Strangely enough, the post I had ready to go last week related to something Wayne Dyer said about resistance and blocks. He said, that the first problem is that we call them ‘blocks’   … I will truly miss his wisdom.

As usual, his simple answer blew me away. I was all ready to be on board with this, agreeing that our perspective is a big factor when we’re facing challenges. And of course, negatively naming our struggles just creates more resistance. But I also started to wonder if it’s ever possible to talk about challenges in a positive way. I mean, we still need to acknowledge that we’re working against something, don’t we? Isn’t it better that we uncover our weaknesses or sabotaging patterns and habits before we can create new, positive ones?

Well, since I don’t think the word ‘blocks’ is going anywhere, we might have to get used to it. It’s quite a buzzword in the spiritual and self-development world right now, but I think I’ve found a way that a simple shift in perspective can shield us from the negativity the word conjures up.

Traditionally, we’ve been using the word ‘block’ to describe a hindrance or resistance in our energy or on our path to success. It’s more often used to describe something under the surface – a self-sabotaging wall we can’t break through. For example, when we talk about ‘money blocks’, we’re talking about old beliefs about money that might come from as far back as our grandparents or parents who said things like, “Money doesn’t grow on trees,” or “What are we, the Rockefellars?”, This may have led us to believe, on a subconscious level, that money is scarce and difficult to come by and being rich is only reserved for certain people.

And so we are blocked from making a lot of money.

But a block is also a brick…

…Bricks are strong…

So let’s imagine our block now is a brick of strength and resilience. In other words, those things your grandparents said are actually something that make you stronger.

And this strength is what is going to get you to your goal. So whenever you feel ‘blocked’ it’s actually an opportunity for strength. When you overcome something, think of it as a brick on a bridge to your goal.

bridge1

It takes a little mindfulness and focus but it goes something like this:

Let’s say that you have a goal of getting a new job. You first have to job search. It’s been a while so you hit up some websites and find that there are even more websites to use than when you got your current job. You search them and expand your knowledge of what you thought was out there – BRICK! You learned something new and gained some strength on your journey. Now each time you have a small win, like asked to come in for an interview – BRICK! Do an interview – BRICK! Don’t get the job – BRICK! It’s all just laying the groundwork for your true path.brick

And thinking in this way can even help us with the impatience that creeps in as we long for our end game.

As I said, it takes a little bit more mindfulness to recognize these small wins, but basically any time you feel a little nervous about something and you do it anyway, you get a brick to add to the bridge that connects this not so fun part of your journey to the end goal. You can also see it as a rainbow with a pot of gold at the end as I sometimes do, if that helps.rainbowalk

The point is, you will have challenges along the way to your goal – some obvious, and some not so obvious. But acknowledging the fact that every curve ball the universe throws at you is a chance to learn something new about yourself and life can shift your mindset just enough to make suckie situations appear like fun challenges.

So it you think you have a ‘block’ right now, imagine it as a future BRICK. Eventually it will reveal itself to you, give you some anxiety, but also an opportunity to build some strength and inevitably build the bridge that connects you to everything that you’ve been dreaming of.

bridge2

If you’d like some advice on how to build your bridge to success, don’t hesitate to take action!  Find more information about private coaching from me, Ashe, at my website ashewoodward.com or you can email me directly with questions at support@ashewoodward.com.  Have a great week, thirtysomeones!

SONG THAT DANCED THROUGH MY HEAD THE WHOLE TIME I WAS WRITING THIS?

brick girlBRICK HOUSE!…

How to Harness the Power of The Placebo Effect

There’s so much about the brain that we don’t know – and we don’t know we don’t know, and it really freaks me out. Yesterday, a video on placebos reminded of another way the brain seems to have a ‘mind’ of its own.

As you may or may not know, all drugs that are tested must also run placebo trials before they are approved by the FDA. The actual drug must be more effective than the placebo in two trials before being considered a valuable treatment or remedy (Wired Magazine).

Now before you start thinking this is a waste of time and money or even unethical that we deprive some trial participants of the ‘actual’ medication, here is the fact that shook my world: Placebos work 50% as effectively as aspirin but also 50% as effectively as morphine in treating pain!

Seriously, brain, what’s going on?!

Though it may be frustrating to not be able to completely understand what’s happening in our own heads, beyond our control, there’s some great news for us once we see that there is a possibility for harnessing this insensible power.

I actually think it might be a blessing that we don’t fully understand what’s going on here. That way, our job is kept pretty simple.

Believe you’re healed and you will be. Believe you can do something and you can.

If that doesn’t sound simple enough, let me say that the next sugar cube you eat will give you all the power you need to make your dreams come true.winkey

Now, those of us in tune with the power of visualization and positive thinking might also notice that this is all very similar to how The Law of Attraction works. We truly bring what we’re thinking and dreaming about into our lives by way of positive thinking and keeping ourselves connected to a feeling of love and excitement. If you’re excited by life and you love what’s around you, you’ll continue to feel that and see more evidence of it in your life. And even when things are not ideal, you’ll be able to stand strong in your happiness and love of life and all its ups and downs and miracles.

On a more practical level, you can use The Placebo Effect and the Power of Suggestion to shift a negative feeling from taking hold by buying into a more positive perspective. For example, maybe you’ve been actually feeling pretty good lately and then all of a sudden, “WHAM!” Big traffic jam. Your high is over…or so you think…headphones girl

Instead of freaking out about getting fired, give your boss a call, tell her what’s honestly happening and that you’ll be there as soon as you can. Then, turn up the tunes, knowing your ass is covered for the foreseeable, ‘can’t-do-anything-about-it’ future and rock out. Notice that this extra time was a gift. The universe is not screwing you over – she’s rewarding you for feeling good all this time.  And the more you keep your perspective in this positive placebo, the more gifts will appear. It really is all in your head – in a good way!

One more example from a very successful man:

If you say you can or you can’t, you’re right either way. – Henry Ford

Here’s to staying in a good space and reaping the rewards of the Universe all this week!

CHECK OUT THE VIDEO I WATCHED HERE

Get Out of Your Own Way for a Successful Future

Do you remember when the year ‘2000’ sounded insane, like it was so far in the future? If you do, then you must also remember then the Y2K panic that went along with the anxiety of the millennium changeover. Will all the computers reset and cause our technology-dependent society to crumble? Will the Mayans be correct and we’ll witness the end of days? Or will it be exactly like Back to the Future II and our dreams of hoverboards will finally come true? (Actually, that one was set in 2015 so there’s still time…).

Now think back to another far off goal you’ve had in the past. Maybe it was getting your degree, finding your true love, marriage, kids, or your perfect career. Do you remember the days when you said, “I wonder what it’ll be like,” and, “I just can’t stand waiting”? Or you might have also said, “It’s never going to happen,” or “I’m actually not sure if I’m cut out for that but I know I really want it.” Eventually your goals came true, but what if you hadn’t second guessed it?

If it’s hard (or painful) to conjure up those memories, let’s talk about the present and the goals that you’re thinking about in the far off future and consider that you might be able to bring them to you a little more quickly. If you’re a believer in the Law of Attraction, you know that you need to keep a positive mindset for positive things to manifest in your life. If you’re not a big Secret fan, you still have to agree that it’s better to be in a positive mindset than a negative one. And it truly does feel better when we imagine all the amazing benefits achieving our goals will bring us.

But you’re totally normal if you’re questioning your abilities to perform once your goals are achieved. The truth is that we all could use a tune up when it comes to lessening any resistance once we’ve set goals and cleared our intentions with the universe. Heavy stuff, right?

What this basically means is that when we face big goals or have great big desires we also fear it will be a great big change. This creates anxiety and is a big part of the reason many of us self-sabotage or don’t take action. When people talk about having a fear of success, this is really what they’re talking about. Everyone wants success, but we’re not so sure that we’re ready for a big change to our comfortable lifestyle that we know, love and can mostly predict. Unfortunately, it’s a fear of the unknown that is fighting with our other instincts to grow and be abundant.

When it was almost the year 2000, some people stocked up on food and water. Others laughed it off decided to deal with it if it happens. Personally, I was in a middle camp where I bought a case of water just in case, as if 24 bottles would get my through the next sixty or so years of my life. The point is, the year 2000 came anyway – no amount of resistance could really stop it because time just goes by.

The lesson we should take from this is that worrying about tomorrow never coming is just as pointless as worrying about getting everything you’ve ever wanted. Sure, you may have to adapt to that higher position, and you’ll make mistakes – no one is expecting you to be perfect at the job itself, just perfectly qualified as you are. You’re going after the job anyway, so what’s the point in thinking about the bad before the good even has a chance to arrive?

The same goes for any goal we have. Maybe you’re freaked out about being a parent or getting married. Or maybe you’re looking for a new house or buying a car. Whatever it is, you need to just allow time to pass and let these things come into your life before you dream up all the ways things could go wrong. You’ll have a better picture of the situation once it’s arrived, and even then, there’s probably a better way to accept your gifts than to think about all the possible dangers.

So get out of your own way!

Below I’ve listed some affirmations to help you remember to get out of your own way and be positive about your future. Try a few or all this week and let me know how it goes in the comments!

Affirmations and Mantras for a Positive Future:

Do something today that your future self will thank you for – Unknown

The future is bright and beautiful– Louise Hay

I live from pleasure to pleasure – Louise Hay

God doesn’t call the qualified, he qualifies the called – Unknown

Don’t worry, be happy – Bobby McFerrin

And check out the impatient Tony Hawk ride ‘the first hoverboard’ in this video HERE