The Missing Ingredient in Your Goal-Making

Even though the year has just started, I’ve already achieved one of my goals. Yay me!  Not only am I really proud of myself but I think I learned something from the experience that will be helpful for thinking about what you want to achieve this year.

A couple of weeks ago I was on meetup.com, checking in on my group for thirty-somethings in Toronto when a notice popped up.  It said that another group that I belonged to was about to shut down because the organizer was taking a step back. These messages are more frequent than you think and usually I just skip over them without a thought, but this time something caught my eye.  This group had over 480 members.  I immediately thought of my goal of ‘500 new subscribers by July’ and took it as a sign.  I took over the group and even though I’m a few short, I still see this as a win.

What I learned is that making goals requires not just a dream, not just action, not only passion, but a willingness to change.

Change is a complicated thing that scares most of us.  But we all know that if we’re not getting where we want to be, something has to change.  You can’t keep doing the same thing and expect different results, right? Thanks, Einstein.

If I had just skipped over the message as usual, I wouldn’t have met my goal.  It would have been easy to say, “This isn’t exactly what I had in mind,” or “This is more work than I anticipated.” And I wouldn’t have almost 500 possible new friends or, perhaps, clients.

Here’s another example many of you might identify with.  When a friend of mine started working out, he really hated it.  He stuck with it because he had a goal in mind and he still made some progress by sticking to his guns…literally.  However, it wasn’t until he decided that he wanted to be a fit person, rather than just a guy who goes to the gym, that he started to see real results. Now, I don’t think he could ever stop his routine because he really made a change to his lifestyle and committed to it.

So make your goals, put a time limit on them too if you must, but don’t forget that a goal is something you want because you want something in your life to be different.  So what’s the change you’re going to commit to so that all your dreams come true this year?

Here’s a small challenge.  Take a look at one of the goals you’ve made this year.  Beside it, also write the change that has to happen for you to achieve that goal. Then, commit to it.

Let us know on Facebook!

And if you’re stuck about what or how to make those big changes, get in touch and try life coaching.  Find out more at ashewoodward.com

photo from nutritionsecrets.com

One Word for 2016

As the ‘Happy New Year’ salutations still ring out, so do the sounds of my pinging inbox with promises of a new me for 2016. 

As a coach, I’m totally guilty of giving the same spiel to my clients: “This is a clean slate, a new beginning, no time like the present” and all that.  But secretly I feel it’s all a little tiring and a lot of pressure to put on this freshly squeezed year.

Don’t get me wrong, I too feel the magic of January and the feeling of amazing possibilities but I’m really soooo done with resolutions.  Instead, this year, I’m taking a page out of Elizabeth Gilbert’s book (figuratively) and one from Danielle Laporte’s.  Gilbert, as most women remember from the book and movie, Eat, Pray, Love, looks for ‘her word’ (spoiler: it ends up being different in the film from the book).  The belief is that every person and even cities have one, all encompassing word to describe them.  Rome’s word is sex, where New York’s is achieve…(I’m not so sure what Toronto’s would be, maybe create? Any thoughts?)

Danielle Laporte is a Canadian spiritual guru who is famous for saying things like, “It’s not about what you want but how you want to feel”. In her work she often has people write down feelings they want to feel instead of accomplishments to go after. Here’s a great video about how she explains her discovery of this method at the beginning of a new year. WATCH

What I propose is that instead of resolutions that are often lengthy or uninspiring, we choose one word for 2016 and live by it and have it breathe through everything we do this year on the way to being a better version of ourselves. The idea actually came from Kate Northrup in one of ‘those New Year emails” but reminded me so much of Gilbert and Laporte.  And, let me tell you, I will take advice any day from these 3 gurus any day because their work has influenced and helped me so much.  Not to mention that Northrup’s book, Money A Love Story which I read this past October, led me to make an extra $300.00 before I was even finished reading the book. BUY IT NOW!

It has taken a while to discover the word that I want to encompass my 2016 but when I’m really honest about what I want for myself this year it has to be relationships.  The last part of 2015 really showed me that maybe I’m more of a people person than I thought.  Or maybe, I’ve grown up and just turned into one.  I’d really like to grow and care for the relationships that I have in my life and build more throughout the year.  This may sound cheesy or even too easy for some but working on strong connections, authentic sharing and communicating is really where I want to focus my energy and see what will come out of it. Not to say that I have terrible relationships now, but I see how they can be better and how I can be better at my part.

I think a one word resolution is an especially great idea because I can use it like a mantra and I don’t have to refer to a list in my phone to recall it. You can see how this one word can flow into so many areas of life – career, home, family – and will be a great all-encompassing way to live the year for more success in all areas.

So give it a try and SHARE YOUR WORD on the Being Thirties Facebook Page!

Have a wonderful 2016 and I wish you all the success you desire for this year and all of your thirties! 

Find out more about how coaching can boost your success in all your 2016 projects at ashewoodward.com.