Two years ago I was a mess. I had given my all to getting into graduate school but had failed – but don’t feel too bad for me yet – I only applied to one school so, really, how bad did I want it, right?
The truly sad thing was that I had no idea what else I wanted to do.
For that past year I had kept a journal about my journey of applying to grad school – getting a mentor, taking an intesive Latin course, gaining volunteering experience and turning thirty (eek!).
With no idea what I wanted to do or be, the only thing that gave me comfort was that journal. I struggled to get down any thoughts about what was next for me and I could only hope that my depression could sink into its pages instead of infecting my daily life. I still had to go to work and be a teacher. I still had to make a living and not fall apart for my husband who was having a tough go at work too.
But every time I thought about the future, all I saw was black. I couldn’t bring myself to create anything. So I just wrote.
Lucky for you, I eventually realized that I could turn my journal into a blog. From the blog I realized I really wanted to engage with other thirtysomeones around the world who were faced with the same fears that I had. That was my first vision I made of the future.
From this I was able to use everything I knew about visualization and the Law of Attraction to motivate myself and move towards this vision.
Two months later, the school that I teach at developed a side program to teach English to 30+ students. I had nothing to do with it– no one at work knew about my blogging and I wasn’t about to direct them to the page where they could see dirty tidbits of my personal life. But I had somehow brought more thirtysomeones into my life. This new program would bring them from all over the world – exactly what I had asked for…
Yet, I kept my distance because I was focused on developing my own program for thirtysomeones, and I realized that I wanted to teach my own course – to create a program that would help others like me find their feet again and be happy and prosperous. I visualized myself teaching and helping rooms full of thirtysomeones with their dreams.
Then, one day, about a year later, I missed my subway stop on the way to work because I’d been fiercely meditating on this idea.
That day my boss handed me a new schedule and told me that all my classes were changing to be 30+. As I write this, it sounds contrived, right? Actually, if it hadn’t really happened to me, I might not believe it either. I was literally handed everything I had asked for.
There are really two things that I hope you take from my story. The first is that visualization and the power of creating our future with our minds is real. A year after I had an idea about teaching people over thirty from all over the world, I was standing in front of a classroom full of them.
The second is that I made a mistake. I really wanted out of teaching English. I didn’t care how old they were because I was so much more focused on my own thing. My mistake was that I wasn’t specific enough. Once I realized what I had manifested wasn’t exactly right, I got down and dirty with my visualizations and put in all the detail I needed.
Now I think my vision is nice and detailed. I want to teach thirtysomeones from all over the world how to get over the feeling of hopelessness. I know that there are more people like me who have been silly enough to think that life ends instead of begins at thirty. And as I wait for it to manifest in my future I am happy to practice on thirtysomeones from all over the world who are improving their lives by learning English.
Shout out to my 30+ students following along for reading practice!