Keeping a Steady Hand

birthday-girlAs I try to be the voice of aging gracefully I realize that I am actually really freaked out about my upcoming 32nd birthday.

Why does it sound exponentially older than thirty or thirty-one?

I know it should be like The Czech Republic and Slovakia but instead it feels like Malaysia and Iceland. The big day is still a month away so I hope I can remain the steady hand for my readers and apply all I have learned about being thirty in the last two years to my own crisis.

I have to say that I have really learned quite a lot (and I hope you have too). I think that this is largely a result of being able to spend my free time focusing on what I want, not what I had to do. I may have learned a lot about historical literature between the ages of twenty and twenty-two but I didn’t feel any wiser. Focusing on school took away from real life at times. And what do I really remember from squeezing out twenty-page papers in all-nighter binges? Only that I felt like crap most of the time and I had to miss a Slipknot concert.

Now I can choose all the books I want, go to the events and restaurants I like, and become the eccentrically cultured being I want to be.  But this takes its toll too. Feeling wiser over the years gives each year a lot more weight…but in more good ways than bad, I think.

Good pep talk. Hope I can remember all that when the big day arrives.

Steady hand, steady hand…

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