Controlling Outcomes

So these are the first days of 2014. So far my resolutions for career and health are on track – blogging once a week and no aspartame.

This year promises to be brighter than last already since I have begun the year doing something that I love – writing. Last year I was waiting on grad school applications and everything was a bit blurry. It feels really good to have a little more sense of control at the outset, though I cringe at the use of the word control.

People always say that control is an illusion, but then why do we refer to it as tangible or something we have or lose? Control is something that we all like, we all strive for it. But maybe what we’re yearning for is better forethought. As I said, last year I had no control over my future. It would be decided by a bunch of stuck-up dicks – I mean, intelligent council members. I had no control over the outcome. Or did I?

I had put myself at their mercy. If I hadn’t wanted to relinquish control, I wouldn’t have applied. This year, I decided that I don’t want that feeling. Again, I’ve come back to the importance of planning. Last year I had no back-up plan. This year I have three. This is where I get a sense of control. If some things don’t work out (for reasons beyond my control) I have a back up. And then a back up to my back up.

So really there is some merit to the thinking that control is an illusion because there are things that happen that are beyond our reach. However, this doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t continue to go after some semblance of it. It’s a good feeling. It’s calming, assuring. The point might be that the loss of control is what makes control damning. So hold on to what you have but know that situations can always change, and plan ahead. Way ahead.

Hope you’re having a great year so far!

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